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Turn Around, Bright Eyes/Transcript
Abridged Episode #18 Watch ← Previous Episode Next Episode → The one where Yugi beats Pegasus Cast (In order of appearance): Yugi, Grandpa, Croquet, Yami, Tristan, Joey, Tea, Bakura, Yami Bakura, Pegasus Date: March 17, 2007 Running Time: 9:56 Episode Title: Turn Around Bright Eyes Transcript Intro (image from the Japanese version appears with the Capcom sound) Pegasus' Castle YUGI: (voiceover) My grandpa's deck has served me well. But if I'm going to beat Pegasus, I'm going to have to remember everything gramps ever taught me about card games. Flashback GRANDPA: Playing card games is just like making love. You usually do it on a table, and you always feel deep shame when it's finished. Also, the older you get, the less fun it is. So remember, always wear a condom when playing card games. End Flashback YUGI: (voiceover) Hmm. I should probably wash my hands before using these. Title Sequence: Rammstein's "Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?" plays Dueling Arena CROQUET: The final round of the Duelist Kingdom tournament shall now commence! Will Yugi Moto please enter the duel arena? (Yugi enters the arena while Joe Esposito's "You're the Best" is heard) TRISTAN: I'm bored. JOEY: Hush, Tristan. This crappy tournament will be over soon. TÉA: Hey Joey, let's ditch Tristan and Bakura. JOEY: Duh, okay. BAKURA: I can't believe they just ditched us like that! I mean, you'd have to be a total jerk to walk out on someone when - Hey, where are you going? TRISTAN: I'm ditching you too, because you smell. Bye! YAMI BAKURA: (voiceover) Run while you can, mortal. Soon, I will rule the world. And then we'll see who smells. It'll be you. CROQUET: And now, introducing the creator of card games! Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, Mr. Maximillion Pegasus! (theme from "I'm From Hollywood" plays while Pegasus makes his entrance) PEGASUS: Excellent. Soon, my evil plan to steal an object from a small child will be complete! YAMI: You mean you arranged this whole tournament just to steal my Millennium Puzzle? PEGASUS: Exactly. YAMI: Did you even consider just asking me for it? I mean, do you have any idea how much time and money you've wasted with this whole facade? People have died because you wanted a necklace! I killed a gay clown, for Ra's sake! PEGASUS: Look, are you going to play a children's card game with me or not? YAMI: I suppose I might as well. Dungeon TRISTAN: This heavy suit of armor is perfect for sneaking around! GUARD 1: (heavy clanking noises in background) Did I hear something just now? Nah. Must have been the wind. Yeah, that's definitely the sound that wind makes. TRISTAN: My voice gives me super strength! (he knocks the guard unconscious) But it also helps that I'm wearing a suit of armor. (he discovers Mokuba in the nearby cell) Hey, it's Mokuba! If I rescue him, then I'll be a hero, and Joey's bootylicious sister will be all over me! (he unlocks the celldoor) Score! Dueling Arena CROQUET: (answers phone) Yes, what is it? GUARD 2: There's been a breach! Mokuba Kaiba has escaped! CROQUET: I thought I told you never to call me at this number. GUARD 2: But I miss you! It feels like we've grown so far apart! CROQUET: That's because I don't love you anymore. YAMI BAKURA: (voiceover) Sounds like Tristan found Mokuba. I think I'll pay him a little visit. JOEY: Where do you think you're going, limey boy? YAMI BAKURA: (bad British accent) Um...I have to go do British things. Like drink cups of tea and eat bangers and mash. That sort of thing. Because I'm British. JOEY: Oh, okay. TÉA: Look! I think something exciting is happening! YAMI: Blah blah card games blah. PEGASUS: Blah blah blah attack mode blah. YAMI: Blah blah blah? PEGASUS: Blah. TÉA: Oops. My mistake. Dungeon GUARD 3: We've got you surrounded. Now give the boy to us. TRISTAN: Over Mokuba's dead body! YAMI BAKURA: Lay one finger on the boy and you mortals will rue the day you were ever born! TRISTAN: Bakura, don't be a hero! They have invisible guns! GUARD 4: And we're not afraid to use them! YAMI BAKURA: (holds up a card) Well, I have something far more powerful than invisible guns! GUARD 4: There's no such thing! YAMI BAKURA: Why don't you see for yourself, then? (magically activates the card) GUARD 4: Well, whaddaya know? He was right. GUARD 3: Now I just feel silly. TRISTAN: Bakura! I had no idea you were Spider-Man! YAMI BAKURA: That's because I'm not. Now, follow me. We have to get out of here. TRISTAN: You mean...you’re not Spider-Man? YAMI BAKURA: No, I'm not- (Tristan looks extremely depressed) ...okay, yes, I'm Spider-Man. Happy? Now will you just follow me? TRISTAN: Hooray! I'm friends with Spider-Man! Dueling Arena PEGASUS: Introducing the fabulous Toon Summoned Skull! (the monster appears and winks at Yami. "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)" plays) YAMI: It's like something out of HP Lovecraft... only gay! Dungeon TRISTAN: (singing) Is he strong? Listen, bud. He's got radioactive blood. Look out! There goes the Spider-Man! YAMI BAKURA: Oh, stop it! Dueling Arena PEGASUS: You can't possibly win, Yugi-boy. With my Millennium Eye, I can see into the very recesses of your mind, showing me every card in your deck! YUGI: He's right. We can't win like this. Our only hope is to switch minds. That way, he won't be able to predict our strategy. YAMI: Couldn't I just Mind Crush him? YUGI: You can't fix all your problems by Mind Crushing people. YAMI: Oh, come on. Just one little Mind Crush. It'll barely hurt him. YUGI: No! Bad Pharaoh! No Mind Crush! YAMI: You never let me have my way, do you? PEGASUS: And now, I'm going to take this duel to the Shadow Realm! YAMI: See? This wouldn't be happening if I had just Mind Crushed him. YUGI: Listen, mister, do you need a time-out? Dungeon YAMI BAKURA: Hand over the boy, Tristan, or I'll swallow your soul! TRISTAN: But... why? YAMI BAKURA: Ever since Yugi defeated me in a duel, I've been looking for a new body. One without a soul. Mokuba's should do just fine. TRISTAN: But... why? YAMI BAKURA: Because I'm evil! TRISTAN: But... why? YAMI BAKURA: I don't know, I'm just evil! What do you expect? TRISTAN: But... why? YAMI BAKURA: Well, I suppose my parents never loved me enough. They were always dressing me like a girl. Do you know they wanted to call me Florence? Who names a boy Florence? Idiots, that's who! And I'll tell you another thing- TRISTAN: Look out! Flying Mokuba! (he throws Mokuba at Bakura) YAMI BAKURA: What the deuce? TRISTAN: My voice knows kung fu! (he hits Bakura who falls to the ground) YAMI BAKURA: Oh, bugger. TRISTAN: And now to defeat the evil villain once and for all by throwing him carelessly in a random direction. Go, Millennium Frisbee! YAMI BAKURA: Noooooooooooooo! twinkle. TRISTAN: I'm bored again. Dueling Arena TÉA: My nipples are sensing that Yugi is in great peril! JOEY: Mine too! TRISTAN: (carrying both Bakura and Mokuba) Hey guys, you’ll never guess what I’ve been doing! JOEY: We don’t care. Shadow Realm PEGASUS: Your mind shuffle strategy won’t work against me here, Yugi-boy. That weak body of yours can’t survive in the Shadow Realm. YUGI: He’s right. I can feel my life force being drained away. It’s like I’m watching an Uwe Boll movie. Spirit, you have to take over for me. I’m too weak. YAMI: Oh, come on. You can take him. YUGI: No, really. I think I might be dying here. YAMI: Don’t be such a drama queen. YUGI: Spirit ...tell Téa... I love her... YAMI: No! Yugi! You can’t be dead! If you were dead, then 4Kids would have censored it! Yugi! Yugi! "Bright Eyes" by Art Garfunkel plays as Yugi collapses. Dueling Arena TÉA: Holy crap! JOEY: Nyeh! TRISTAN: I’m hungry! JOEY: I felt a disturbance. As if Yugi cried out in terror, and was suddenly silenced. TÉA: He needs our help! Remember the friendship pact we made in the first episode? TRISTAN: How could we forget? It took weeks to get that stuff off my hand. TÉA: Yugi, wherever you are, we believe in you! JOEY: Never give up, no matter what happens! TRISTAN: And could you possibly bring me something to eat? Maybe some French fried potatoes? Shadow Realm PEGASUS: Poor Pharaoh-boy. Without Yugi, your mind is an open book. Now, let’s see what card you’re holding! What in the name of Liberace is happening? Yugi’s friends! They’re stopping me from reading his mind! This is inconceivable, not to mention extremely cheesy! TÉA: Pegasus! You’ll never understand the importance of friendship! JOEY: As long as Yugi has us, he’ll always have the strength to fight! TRISTAN: I’m just here for the food! YAMI: And now, I summon LittleKuriboh Impostors! PEGASUS: No! There’s so many of them! I can’t tell which one is the original! YAMI: And that means you’ll never be able to watch the abridged series ever again! PEGASUS: No! I can’t live without "Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series"! It’s so important to me! YAMI: Don’t worry, Pegasus. There’s always "Naruto: The Abridged Series". But as everyone knows, that’s just not quite as good! PEGASUS: Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooo! Dueling Arena JOEY: Yug, you won! I mean, you really- TÉA: Back off, he’s mine! Um, Yugi, I just have this one thing to say: (starts singing) Did you ever know that you’re my heeerooo... YUGI: Yeah, thanks, Téa. Anyway, we should probably go- TÉA: (singing) Cause you are the wind beneath my wiiings. Okay, I’m done. YUGI: Let’s go rescue Grandpa! BAKURA: Hey! How the bloody hell did I get up here? And what in the name of buggery happened to my Millennium Ring? TRISTAN: I threw it away because it was evil! BAKURA: That was a prized family heirloom, you giant wanker! TRISTAN: But it was evil! If Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees got married and had a baby, your ring would be the baby! JOEY: Freddy would never marry Jason! Besides, Freddy’s already married... to his job. YAMI BAKURA: Now that Pegasus is weakened by his duel with Yugi, it’ll be the perfect opportunity to steal his Millennium Eye! By the way, if you’re wondering how I managed to get my ring back, then I’m just as confused as you are! Watch out, Pegasus! Florence is back! Ending: Spiderman theme plays) SUBTITLE: the last time you’ll ever see Tristan do anything ''Stinger PRIEST SETO: (as Leonidas from 300) You threaten my people with slavery and death! GUARD: (as Persian messenger) This is madness! PRIEST SETO: Madness? THIS... IS... SPARTA! Castle GUARD 3: I told you we should have used the visible guns, but nooo! You had to have the invisible guns because they’re magical and oooooo... GUARD 4: Yeah, way to kick a guy when he’s down, Greg. Maybe if we had an invisible tank… GUARD 3: Oh, shut up! Just shut up! Trivia *The episode title is a reference to "Total Eclipse of the Heart", a song by Bonnie Tyler. *Bakura's line when he threatens Pegasus' guards is a direct quote from the 4Kids version. *Joey's line when Yugi "dies" is a paraphrase of Obi-Wan's line from Star Wars when Darth Vader destroys Alderaan with the Death Star. Category:Abridged Transcripts